DIY Wedding Cover for Astonishing X-Men #51

So Astonishing X-Men #51 seems to be shaping up to be the comic book of the year, with Northstar marrying his long-time boyfriend Kyle. As you can imagine, this has received a bunch of mainstream attention. Keeping it short, it’s a great plot twist for Northstar as nothing ever seems to go his way. Remember, he was killed and ressurected twice in the same story.

The alternate cover for this comic has a bunch of pictures of some of Marvel’s more prominent married couples, with space where you can affix a picture of you and your significant other. How cute is that?

What I’m alarmed about when looking at this picture is the lack of successful Marvel marriages. Let’s examine the one’s pictured:

  • Storm/Black Panther: Constantly bickering, marriage always on the brink of divorce
  • Lilandra/Professor X: Shi’ar empire annuls their marriage because they hate him. Although they still consider themselves together in a super long-distance relationship, Professor X has no idea she is most likely dead.
  • Ant Man/Wasp: Inadvertently became the poster child of super hero domestic violence, Ant Man later goes crazy after his wife both turns into an alien insect and later gets killed during the Skrull invasion.
  • Quicksilver/Crystal: Crystal has an affair and takes their daughter to live away on the moon.
  • Cyclops/Jean Grey: Finally marries her after marrying her clone, Jean finds out that he has been cheating on her and then dies.
  • Power Man/Jessica Jones: Happily married.
  • Scarlet Witch/Vision: She married an android then goes insane and alters reality.
  • Mister Fantastic/Invisible Woman: Happily married.
  • Namor/Marrina:  She turns into a sea monster when pregnant and he has to kill her. Eventually she is resurrected as a sea monster, only to be killed again.

So out of those nine other married Marvel couples, only two of them are still together or in a healthy relationship. That doesn’t look so good for the happy couple. Maybe Northstar and Kyle should just elope…

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