Thunderbolts #7

Thunderbolts #7 starts out a bit different from the previous issues, with Phil Noto taking over from Steve Dillon on the penciling duties. Daniel Way has the team dealing with the fallout from their first mission while travelling in a submarine.

There is growing tension on the submarine, as Punisher and Elektra’s somewhat secret relationship has come to life, and Deadpool is quite the jealous merc with a mouth.

The issue ends with all of the Thunderbolts attempting to overthrow the Red Hulk, as they’re still not exactly sure of what’s going on.

Because he’s, you know, gamma powered and everything, Red Hulk quickly dispatches the attempted coup. He finally starts to explain more of their mission and how he has assembled this group to stop enemies of the state that have acquired gamma weaponry. There was a large gamma weapon that was taken during the first story arc and they have to stop it from falling into the wrong hands.

The last pages of the story pretty much reveal that; whoever got a hold of the gamma weapon has used it to put together a battalion of gamma-powered Crimson Dynamo battle armored soldiers.

I’m liking where this is heading and by this point you can see that Way is hitting his stride. Phil Noto’s art is pretty sweet as well. I still don’t get why everyone is so harsh on this series.

Marvel Super-Heroes Special Winter 1991

This issue isn’t important just because Erik Larsen had the foresight to draw Namor flying around with the X-Men (something the Sub-Mariner wouldn’t regularly do until about twenty years after this was published).

I know that Iron Man is in this picture as well, but lets assume that he has relapsed into alcoholism and stumbled into the frame.

What is most important is that it’s the debut of Steve Ditko’s final marvel creation—Squirrel Girl!

Before she became a nanny/babysitter for Power Man and Jessica Jones, she turned up in this quarterly special.

Ditko introduces the rodent powered hero in a short feature with Iron Man. He’s been kidnapped by Doctor Doom, and the only person he can call for help is Squirrel Girl. The character is just so ridiculous, with her only being able to communicate with squirrels (in particularly, her favorite who is named Monkey Joe) and some other squirrely powers. See what I did there?

Early in the story, she’s pleading to be Iron Man’s sidekick, but he keeps blowing her off. The poor girl is clueless. But Squirrel Girl proves her worth when she calls for some backup–Monkey Joe and about a thousand of his little furry friends. They subdue and in turn wind up humiliating  Doctor Doom.

She’s a really goofy character and reminds me of Sue Heck from The Middle with her constant cheeriness. The whole thing is just so absurd to the point that you  have to imagine that it made Ditko either really mad or he immensely enjoyed the story.

The rest of the book has some fun stuff, involving the X-Men trying to stop a half-human, half-Sentinel who has gone out of control, Namor making making some bird-like friends, and a bunch of Jim Starlin. So should you buy this? Only if you are a speculator waiting for Squirrel Girl: The Movie. No really, it’s a fun anthology and great for some light reading.

Friday Fights #11: Galactus vs. Unicron

 It’s Friday and you know what that means! It’s time for Friday Fights! This week’s battle features the two best known world eating demigods in geek culture; I’m talking about Galactus and Unicron! So what would happen if these two behemoths battled?

SIZE MATTERS: These two are both roughly the size of the planet Earth. It’s kind of hard to put a finger on actually how large they are and can be thanks to both of them being able to increase and decrease their size at will. Neither are beings of flesh and blood. What does matter is what makes them up. Although both of them were created roughly at the beginning of time as cosmic entities, Unicron seems to have a disadvantage being more constructed mechanically. That said, it seems that physical attacks can take more of a toll on Unicron. ADVANTAGE: Galactus

FEEDING TIME: Both of these guys exist to consume planets in order to sustain their existence. Galactus uses his enormous spaceship the Taa II to assist him in devouring planets. Unicron shape shifts into a planet that, well, eats other planets. ADVANTAGE: Unicron. He would just attempt to devour Galactus headfirst, absorbing his energy.

HERALD SQUARE: Galactus has a bunch of various heralds usually on his good side, including Terrax, Nova and Firelord. Unicron has his own posse of Decepticons like Galactus and the various scourges. ADVANTAGE: Neither.

TINY THREATS: Even though these two are both godlike, they can both be defeated by something tiny. Respectively, Galactus and Unicron can be stopped by using (or even threatening use of) the Ultimate Nullifier and the Matrix. ADVANTAGE: Unicron. I don’t see Galactus getting his hands on the Matrix, but I can see Unicron using his mech powers to create a knock off Ultimate Nullifier that would cause some damage to Galactus.

THE WINNER:  Unicron. Literally, he’s a destruction machine. Galactus is no match for his onslaught, and Unicron would absorb his power, keeping him not hungry and planets around the galaxy safe from being devoured for many years.